How will you make it on your own? This word is awfully big, girl this time you’re all alone. But it’s time you started living, it’s time you let someone else do some giving.
I just went through a break up. A real one. Not one of those puppy love relationships that end because Billy Joe was holding hands with Susie so and so in Geometry. I looked at my life, and I decided it was time to move the hell out, and on. I packed my car up to the ceiling, leaving a little room for my dog; and leaving my other two dogs, my coffee, maker, my blender, and other odd things behind. I drove 897 miles back to my hometown.
My hometown was a place I never wanted to see again, full of faces I never wanted to remember. This was a hard transition for me. But I had my ego on a pedestal, and nothing could bring me down.
Of course, I had my friends. Of these friends one (whom I’ve known since kindergarten)was very excited that I was moving back home. He was overly concerned about how I was feeling, and how I would react to being home. He was my rock. After returning home, he took me out to have a few drinks, he came over a few times, and I went to his house once a week. Next thing I know we’re “seeing each other”. This came as a shock to me. I hadn’t wanted to get into anything so soon, and especially not with someone so close to me.
After about a week or two, getting him to come over when I wanted to see him was harder than having him come over when he felt like it. This “fling” was approximately 23 days in when I confessed, with the push of many too many, that I had found feelings for him. And one week later, on day 30, he called it off. He lost interest when I gained it. I watched my ego fall of it’s pedestal and fall flat on it’s face.
Though, I hate to admit it, I was vulnerable. And I can’t tell if I really did feel REAL feelings for him or not.
In one month and 19 days I went through a real break up, a move, and an ego bruise (which included losing a great friend).
And instead of all this mayhem leaving me with a heavy heart, I am empowered by it all.